Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
