do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
