Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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