You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
