Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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