youre lurking in front of me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
