Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
4 words: hood of his car
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
