Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
