We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
