I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
