I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
