my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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