Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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