Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
