why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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