16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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