True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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