His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
