i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
