I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
