So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
