I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
