in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
