Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
