I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
