i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He passed out mid-signature
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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