I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
