i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
