Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
