If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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