Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
