He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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