I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
