Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
