So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
