so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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