Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
