dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
