We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
