someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
