I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this boner is exhausting
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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