We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
