what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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