I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
