I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
