he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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