I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
