Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Porn is love you can see.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
