That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
