he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
