forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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